Dream on the night of 11/18/08

So I understand how this dream started out. I’m going to start with how my dream was developed then go into the dream itself. The day before I had this dream I had an event that triggered a memory that lingered on throughout the day. I had just placed the soda that I had bought from Carl’s Jr. in my trunk for just a moment while I assembled my bicycle. That brought me back to a while ago, probably about three years ago.

In this memory, I had placed a soda that this girl, Jacquelyn Chew, was drinking in my trunk so that she would have her hands free. I can’t quite remember why I needed her hands to be free but i do remember that I had forgot it in the trunk. The aftermath was diet cherry pepsi all over. But what exactly mirrors my dream is not that moment, but right before, during the waiting for this girl.

Jacquelyn Chew was my date to my junior prom. I liked this girl, but then, like now, I did not have the guts to actually ask her out besides to the dance. She was pretty, heck I’m sure we would’ve had good looking children but I never got that far due to my indecision. Anyway, this was a weekend, my friend Ronald and I had just finished up a choir rehearsal and decided to go home. This was before Ronald was able to drive so I was his chauffer. It had been a week after prom and it was about time to get the pictures we had taken for prom. You know those glamour photos that girls buy to commemorate the point in time they decide to make themselves look ridiculously pretty? Ronald and I decided to go and pick them up.

We wanted to get them. I can’t quite recall who suggested we pick up Jackie to come along. That was her nickname, along with Jaco. I used to think “a rose by any other name, still smells as sweet.” She was a rose, one that pricked my developing teenage mind, but I digress. I wasn’t sure if she would be home or not because she had basketball extra-curricular activities. That’s when Ron and I decided we’d just sit in my car for a little bit until we were sure she wouldn’t show up. She did though. This is another story to tell and has nothing to do with the dream last night so I’ll just end there.

So basically, the waiting for a girl was replayed in my mind that night. I was with my brother waiting in front of a house. I knew where I was, I knew what I was doing. For some reason my brother and I were in the same clothes that we were in for my cousin’s wedding. Maybe the reason we were in them because I posted pictures that him and I had taken together on facebook earlier that week. But yea, we were in really dressy clothes, myself in a tux. I think I was there on the pretense of picking this girl up and going to a dinner.

But I don’t know if that’s completely true. I think Joshua and I were coming from a dinner party and I was hoping to pick her up for a party that was happening that night. Mind you it was night already, it was dark, any illumination that was around was from the lights the houses had. Speaking of the houses it looked like the style of house that I had stayed in while in Virginia for my cousin’s wedding.

The houses that I was waiting in front of were a mix. Of the actual girl’s, of who I’ve been waiting for, and the ones that were in Virginia. As soon as I noticed that within my dream I noticed headlights moving across the landscape.

In contrast to reality, I was able to see who was driving the car and who else was in it. The driver was a guy that is in the same department as I at work he was driving the car with the girl I had been waiting for. I call her Smalltown and she was dressed up like she would’ve for a date. She had her hair done in curls and well she was as pretty as ever. From what I could gather she went on a date with the fellow I work with. That didn’t quite matter to me because I still asked her if she wanted to go to the party with me tonight. She agreed in her usual fashion, saying yes but not enthusiastic about it.

Next thing I remember is that I was in my house driveway, joshua’s gone and it’s just me and smalltown. She asked me if I had read Jane Eyre. I said no even though it was a complete lie. I’m reading Jane Eyre for my English class. She began to tell me she was sorry. She was sorry how she acted just like Jane Eyre, she wanted to escape from what she felt. She felt that I was trying to change her, I was her Mr Rochester. I was not only her love but her reason for conflict. I agreed it would be a bad relationship. I understood where she was coming from. Then we just sat in my car in silence for a while. Then my dad came around asking us where we were going. Smalltown received a called earlier about how her friend needed to be picked up so I told my dad we were gonna do that. I later received a phone call saying something like “it’s her friend’s boyfriend” telling me where to go.

I then find myself in like a bar, Christmas light colors spurred across the darkness and large white guys I assume to be Smalltown’s friends. She’s not anywhere in sight but there is this small Filipino girl that I seem to know. But I don’t know her, she’s not recognizable in anyway. But she gathers most my attention. I start to ignore smalltown, in the way that she ignores my feelings for her. Here’s when I start to realize that its more of a dream. For some reason our whole group gathers in my car. We have to squeeze two more people than the maximum in my car. I tell people to duck down whenever I pass by a cop. It takes an eternity getting home. Takes so long that at the end of the dream I don’t even make it home. I ask smalltown, “how did we get there so fast but it’s taking us forever to get back.” She has no idea and that’s the last I remember.

I don’t ever regret not loving the girls to the fullest.